Zaphod for President

Joe Biden voted in favor of the Iraq War, and in favor of reauthorizing the Patriot Act. I’m not interested. As far as I’m concerned, Biden belongs in the Hillary Clinton camp of chickenhawk sociopaths.

Like Mrs. Clinton, Mr. Biden now regrets allowing George W. Bush to wage preemptive warfare against a third-world nation. Like Mrs. Clinton, as Iraq grows more unpopular, Joe complains more loudly. In fact, Clinton and Biden are identical in almost all regards, except that Hillary has a much bigger penis.

My personal prejudices aside, what does Mr. Biden bring to the table?

Most notable: Biden’s 4-page plan for Iraq (in PDF format no less!). All bull$#it removed, this is Joe’s plan:

1. Split Iraq into three “states”; one state for the Shiite, one state for the Sunni and one state for the Kurds.

2. Split up oil revenues, using “federal power” to address the geographic inequality of a 3-state solution.

3. Beg the neighbors (Iran, Syria) to leave Iraq alone, and to please stop planting IED’s all over the place.

4. Allow U.S. Armed Forces to slowly trickle out of Iraq, leaving a “modest” 20,000 troops behind “just in case”.

5. Offer Iraq welfare in exchange for thinking pro-American thoughts.

I’m not impressed. Perhaps Joe can sell it better himself:

Hey Joe, quick question:

Since you are so keen on the idea of “State Rights” in Iraq, why are you so opposed to State Rights here in the United STATES? Guns, drugs, hate crimes and discrimination- you have strongly supported the federalization of each of these issues. What gives?

Nevermind. I’m not interested.

Meet the new boss.
Same as the old boss.

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