Zaphod for President

I’ve just spent a few minutes playing around with my Google Analytics account. I don’t intend to monetize this blog, so traffic really isn’t that important to me. Then again, after a few days without comments, I begin to wonder if I am the only one here.

According to Google, 51 people have visited this blog 51-100 times. I am stunned. On the one hand, I accept that this is an incredibly low number. On the other hand, I am flattered that 51 people have come back to read my thoughts again and again and again. I’m not sure I could name a full 51 friends from my “real life”. Of those, I probably see less than two dozen in any given year.

According to Google, I have been read on 5 continents. People in Saudi Arabia and China and Mexico have read this blog. I also have readers in Pairs, London and Amsterdam. Sometimes the “world-wide-web” feels like a meaningless cliche to me, but seeing this data makes the concept tangible, real. The Internet truly is the most powerful tool in the history of society.

Naturally, most of my readers are here in America with me. Given my pro-America, pro-isolationist view, this makes sense. However, I am not universally loved throughout this not-quite-perfect union:

This brings me to my goal. I would like to find a regular reader in every state of America. I would like to achieve this sometime between five minutes from now, and five minutes before my house sinks into the Atlantic Ocean. I would like to do this because it would validate the purpose of this blog.

The Zaphod Manifesto:

This is our country, from sea to shining sea. Black or white, left or right, we need to forget the bullshit differences between us and make this thing work.

My personal goals aside, let me share a word of encouragement to any would-be bloggers out there: do it. No, blogging won’t make you rich and famous (at least not without years of serious effort), but it achieves something more important than fame and fortune. Blogging will allow you to share the contents of that blob of cholesterol what lives in your skull. Never understimate the importance of this. Blogging is cheaper than therapy, healthier than drugs, and an easy way to meet chicks from all corners of the globe. Simply stated: blogs are the pamphlets of the 21st Century. The power is yours. Use it or lose it.

P.S. If I have inspired you, click here and get started. Why not? It’s not like you are doing anything important right now.

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• Goals