Zaphod for President

Disclaimer: the gross majority of my personal genetic stock immigrated to this country sometime within the past 150 years. Statistically, the same is likely to be true of you and your family. Be you brown, black, white, pink, or some hybrid thereof- unless you are a purebred native, some portion of your family has immigrated here to America in recent centuries.

Here are a few reasons why I am happy to live in a land of diversity:

And, lest I be accused of being a typical horny male, here are some reasons for the ladies:

Bonus question: what do each of these people have in common?

Thus ends my patented “this is not about racism” intro. Sorry to bore regular readers, but if you saw the types of emails I get after writing about these topics, you would understand.

So what is this all about? The recent immigration bill that refuses to die.

What does the bill say?
According to the Washington Post:

• Allow nearly all of the estimated 12 million undocumented immigrants who entered the country before 2007 to apply for a “Z visa” that would permit them to live and work in the country as long as they pay a series of fees and renew their visas every two years.

• Applicants must pass a background check, remain employed and receive a counterfeit-proof biometric card.

Sound reasonable? Lies! Nothing but lies!

• How many illegal immigrants live in the United States?
  The Washington Post claims that “an estimated” 12 million illegals are here, but some claim there are far more than that. Some claim 15 million, others claim 20 million; I have seen estimates as high as 30 million illegals. The fact of the matter is simple: no one knows for sure.

• Will the illegals be forced to renew their visas every two years?
  Lies, lies, lies. First of all, most illegal immigrants continue to work and live in America by using fake social security numbers (or one of ours). Why would anyone voluntarily downgrade to a “Z visa” (and pay the associated fees) after living as a de-facto citizen for several years, if not decades?

• What is a “Z visa” anyway?
  According to United States Immigration Support: “In order to qualify for a Z visa, applicants must be able to proof that they arrived in the United States before January 1st, 2007. The Z visa is renewable in four year increments, and it may lead to permanent residency”. Read that again. Apparently, illegals are going to be renewing their 4-year visas every two years. Furthermore, “proof” is a verb, and anyone who says otherwise is with Al Queda.

• Are they really going to give illegals a counterfeit-proof biometric card?
  Why wait for the movie? Read the book instead. Bonus question: how much are 12-30 million counterfeit-proof biometric cards going to cost us? Super bonus question: how much will 300 million cost, once the rest of us get assigned one? Super-duper bonus question: do the major manufacturers of biometrics and RFID chips intend to offer us a bulk discount?

And now, for the real story:

Any major poll regarding this issue shows an overwhelming super-majority (70%) oppose this bill.

Meanwhile, that same (70%) super-majority thinks that our Congress is filled with a bunch of lunatics and our President is a crook.

The Facts:

• Our President has failed us
• Our Congress has failed us
• The Republicans have failed us
• The Democrats have failed us
• This bill is a scam
• We, the people, know it

• If this bill passes, in anything resembling its current condition, there will be nothing left to deny or argue about; America will no longer be a nation “of the people, for the people, by the people”.

• When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bonds which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

Locked and loaded here on Conspiracy Cove, this is you pal Zaphod, signing off.

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