Zaphod for President

“That’s not fair.”
“Life’s not fair.”
“No, seriously, you can’t just decide to go around sterilizing people you view to be disadvantaged.”
“It’s the most humane thing we could possibly do.”
“How do you figure?”
“Well, consider for example midgets. Or is it dwarfs? Shit, I forget, what is the proper term for a midget?”
“Little people.”
“Little people?”
“Yes, little people.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? They want to be called little people?”
“I think so.”
“Anyway, consider if two little people got married. Odds are, they would have kids. And then another generation would be forced to suffer.”
“That’s not true!”
“Of course it’s true. They might be little, but they still have sex.”
“No, I mean midgets…”
“…little people…”
“…I mean little people can have perfectly normal-sized kids.”
“No they can’t!”
“Sure they can. There was this show I saw about a family of midgets a few weeks ago. And they had a normal-sized son.”
“If it was on TV, it must be true.”
“No, you’re right, the liberal media strikes again.”
“Midgets have midget kids.”
“Jesus Christ, just Google it, will you please?”
“I don’t have to Google it, I already know it.”
“Get out of the way, jackass. Let me see…”
“White people have white kids, black people have black kids, and little people have little people kids…”
“Here- look…’occurs in about 1 of every 26,000 to 40,000 babies of all races and ethnicities. It can be caused by a spontaneous mutation in one gene or a child can inherit the gene from a parent who has achondroplasia’. See that: spontaneous mutation“.
“Yeah, and right after that: ‘child can inherit‘”.
“Can inherit, not does inherit.”
“Why take the risk?”
“Are you telling me you’d rather be dead than short?”
“Yes, much rather.”
“I really don’t know what to say to that.”
“You’re welcome.”

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