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Ron Paul beats Giuliani, McCain
This just in: the results of the Iowa Straw Poll. How did our man Ron Paul do? He came in 5th place, with about 9 per cent of the vote.
Perhaps you are thinking to yourself: “meh”. If so, that is only because I have not shared the best part with you yet: Rudy Giuliani and John McCain combined only received 2.3% of the vote, less than a third of the good Dr. Paul.
Behold! Democracy in action:
- Mitt Romney: 4,516 / 31.5%
- Mike Huckabee: 2,587 / 18.1%
- Sam Brownback: 2,192 / 15.3%
- Tom Tancredo: 1,961 / 13.7%
- Ron Paul: 1,305 / 9.1%
- Tommy Thompson: 1,039 / 7.3%
- Fred Thompson: 203 / 1.4%
- Rudy Giuliani: 183 / 1.3%
- Duncan Hunter: 174 / 1.2%
- John McCain: 101 / 1.0%
- John Cox: 41 / .1%
(14,302 Total Votes)
Mitt Romney is still enjoying a strong lead, followed by the evolution-denying Mike Huckabee and Sam Brownback, followed by NAACP-favorite Tom Tancredo.
All I can say is this: thank God the Midwest hates New Yorkers and illegal immigrants. Sure, it’s not the most graceful solution possible, but if that’s what it takes to keep Rudy McCain from becoming the next fuhrer, I’ll just have to close my eyes and get cozy with some curious bedfellows.
Now all we need is a good sex-scandal involving Mitt Romney and a chimpanzee, and we’ve got ourselves a nomination. I’ll see what I can find on YouTube.
In the meanwhile, please enjoy America the Beautiful, as performed by the spectacular Ray Charles:
Click to listen. Continue reading for the lyrics.
O beautiful, for heroes proved
In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!
America! America! May God thy gold refine,
‘Til all success be nobleness, and ev’ry gain divine!O beautiful, for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America! God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood, from sea to shining sea.America! America! God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood, from sea to shining sea.
Off topic: I sure hope Ray Charles is in heaven right now. This song is one of the key reasons why I can’t bring myself to be an atheist.
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