Zaphod for President

Future Governor of New York, the Honorable David Paterson

“Yooze gonna have a black govner and a black president, one of dem is gonna get whacked” is the water cooler joke du jour among the dilberts of Albany. Naturally, no sane person is seriously laughing. For all the commotion brought about by Client-9 and Hitlery’s loss of a super delegate.

At least, Spitzer bought time with an adult female. No, he didn’t bother finding a Homosexual hooker. No, he didn’t go for a little boy. But, apparently he paid in excess of $80,000.00 for some Jersey girl! He totally overpaid. Anyone familiar with Craigs List can see Spitzer got ripped off. Go figure, he’s a big government liberal Democrat. Not that Ron Paul would ever pay for sex, but you know he wouldn’t waste 80k on it. The problem is bureaucrats are just way out of touch with the free market. Back to Paul, at least he wouldn’t be so duplicitous as prosecute Hookers & Johns.

Now Spitzer bites the dust on Monday. If I were Elliot, I would announce prostitution no longer an offense in the State of New York. Use it as an opportunity to bring down vice crimes. Pure true libertarians are patriots and have the moral high ground. There is no hypocrisy in patronizing ladies of the night if you believe it ought not be a crime.

With all that said, I’m so thrilled that David Paterson will become Governor of the Empire State. Heck, I wish he were the presumptive Presidential nominee instead of Barack “censored” O’Bama. At least, Paterson is a real “black” man. He doesn’t run from it in front of “white” audiences. He’s from Harlem, not Hawaii or Indonesia or whatever. He’s also blind, so you see if you don’t support Paterson, you’re against the disabled. SHAME ON YOU! All hail the new Governor of New York.

My guess: President O’Bama will nominate Paterson to be Secretary of Health & Human Services. Hillary will run for Governor of New York in a special election and win. Remember NY Dems are lemmings.

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• Election 08